Public Toilets
by HARRY.POTTER.QUICHE
Summary: Sirius finds Remus' number on the wall in a public bathroom.


**This is for Round 11 (Jeez this is going fast) of the QL, in which I am beater 1 of the Ballycastle Bats. My prompt was the setting of a public toilet. The story also has to finish and start with the same word.**

 **Prompts:**

 **(Word) pancakes**

 **(Word count) 1,089**

 **(Word) coffee**

 **The Valentines Making Station: Text Me**

 **The New Quidditch Pitch: "I am under obligation to make sense to you."**

 **Scavenger Hunt: (dialogue) "What time is it?" / "Three." / "In the morning?"**

…

Sirius ran into the bathroom and vomited.

Violently.

He ended up sitting on the toilet, housing a massive headache, double vision, and the very distinct possibility of having his lunch in his hair.

His friends had all left with dates. He had drunk his sorrows away. That was all there was to it. Nothing else to be said. Simple as pi. Story finished. That was all. This was the—

He vomited again. At least this time he managed to hold back his hair.

He doesn't leave the stall for another two hours, and when he does, he is beaming with excitement.

After his fourth puking bout, he saw a number on the wall and froze. He had managed not to puke in a long time. The phone number suddenly seemed like the most tempting thing in the world.

So he reached for his phone and dialled in the number, having to re-type it six types. He was still drunk. When the phone finally started calling he started and almost dropped the phone in the toilet, but managed to catch it.

"Hello?" came a blurry voice from the phone.

"HI!" He called eagerly down the phone.

"Who is this?"

"My name's Sirius!" Then Sirius froze. What do you say on this kind of call?

"And? Why are you calling?"

"Um, what time is it?" Sirius asked hesitantly.

"Three."

"In the morning?"

"Yup."

"Were you asleep? Sorry about that!"

"Well, the best way you can express your apology is to get what you want to say out quickly, and then let me go back to sleep."

"Oh. Sorry. You want me to hang up?"

"Oh my God, just tell my why you called!"

"Oh. Er, your number was on the wall in the bathroom. So I, well, I, er…"

"My phone number was on the wall in a public bathroom."

"Yes," Sirius confirmed, although he wasn't sure if it was a question.

"Oh. That would be my friend. James. He's a jerk."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So I'll leave you to find another number so you can get laid."

"No! No, no, I didn't call because I wanted to get laid!"

"You called a phone number on a bathroom wall, but you didn't want to get laid? That doesn't make any sense!"

"I am under no obligation to make sense to you!"

There was a long silence and, for a second, Sirius thought the guy had hung up. Then he heard the chuckles and realised this guy was laughing.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Don't laugh at me!"

"You're not making any sense! Listen, are you pissed?"

"Yeah? Course I am! It's three in the morning and I'm calling you from a public toilet! Peter went home with Mary, and Kingsley took Dorcas, and Frank went with Alice, and Marlene went with some random girl I don't even know the name of, and I bet she doesn't know it either! And then even James left me for Lily!"

"Wait, did you say James and Lily? And a Frank who's dating someone called Alice? And someone called Marlene?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"That's the James I know! The jerk! I'm a friend of Lily's! I even met Frank once! Which one of his friends are you?"

"Uh, Sirius?"

"Ah, the best friend! Well, a friend of James is a friend of mine! You want me to pick you up from wherever you are?"

…

Sirius woke up, and the first thing he noticed was that he was in someone else's bedroom. He went home with someone at the bar? He groaned and rolled over, looking for his phone.

Only to be hit by a splitting headache.

Ah. That would be the drinks.

He found his phone on the bedside table, and checked the time. Nine. Okay. It could be worse. He had to meet with Benjy at one for his annual review, which meant he had a few hours.

A few hours to work out whose house he was in, and how to sneak out unnoticed. If he was lucky the guy or girl had been just as drunk and had left the house already so he could just leave.

Of course, he was never lucky, so when he poked his head around the kitchen door he found a tall, dirty blond, fit bloke, holding a pan, standing with his back to the door.

Woah. Maybe he shouldn't sneak out. That was one hot piece of ass.

The man jumped and spun around, then saw him and started chuckling.

Oh, God. Did he say that out loud?

"You were quite vocal about that ' _hot piece of ass'_ last night."

Sirius groaned and collapsed on a kitchen chair. "Listen, dude, you're hot. But I don't remember last night at all. Sorry."

The man immediately shook his head frantically. "Crap, no. We didn't, we didn't do anything. You were pissed and I'm a friend of your mate James? So I offered you a place to stay for the night. You kind of stole my bed."

Sirius stared at the hot bloke for a second. His drunk ass managed to resist that? But, to be fair, the guy looked pretty horrified when he suggested something had happened. Maybe he was straight and had turned him down?

He realised the guy was still looking at him, an eyebrow raised. "Uh, sorry about the bed."

The guy threw his head back, laughing, and Sirius couldn't help his gaze drifting to his neck, and almost wishing that something did happen.

"Here." He said, and Sirius nearly jumped. "I promised you last night."

Sirius looked down confusedly to find a plate of pancakes and a mug of coffee in front of him. He promptly realised how hungry he was. The pancake was gone in seconds.

"So, what's your name?"

"Remus. I'm Remus."

"Lupin? You're Lupin?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh my God, Evans was totally planning on setting us up!"

"Lily? Lily was going to set us up? She would have told me!"

Sirius shrugged.

"She said she was setting me up with a hot hunk of a guy called Remus Lupin. But it appears I found my own way into your bed without her help." When Remus blushed, Sirius smirked. He liked this guy. "Speaking of which, how exactly _did_ I end up in your bed?"

And so Remus told him every detail of the previous night.

…

It was maybe two hours after Sirius left that Remus found the note in his pocket.

 _Seeing as I can't remember your number, here's mine. Call me ;)_

 _-Sirius_


End file.
